So I suck at blogging but I'm working on it. Today's topic is cohabitation. Nothing could be worse for a relationship! It's so sad and interesting to me that couples think that they have this secret to making marriage work and it's living together before marriage. WRONG! Couples who cohabit have an 80% break up rate. Why is this you may ask? There isn't a whole lot of research on this topic but there are some great insights.
1) Couples who cohabit live separate lives instead of blending their lives like married couple do.
2) Men and women who cohabit want different things. The women eventually wants to get married whereas the man could care less, and who would blame him? He has a free prostitute living with him.
3) When couples cohabit they don't give up their old single life. They still put friends, video games, activities, etc. over their partner.
4) Couples who cohabit have no legal obligations and therefore they don't trust each other. Either partner could get up and leave at anytime or either partner could go on a wrecking spree through the house.
5)The more people cohabit the higher their tolerance of divorce.
Let's paint these problems out more clearly in a game:
Think of your bank account. In this game you have to give me a filled out check but I get to fill out the amount. You can do one of three things now. 1) You could block your account completely, giving me no money. 2) You could block your account just a little bit controlling how much money I get to take out. 3) You can trust me and give me full access to your bank account.
So it is with cohabitation vs marriage. When you cohabit you don't give your full self or your full assets. Married people actually pool together more money quicker than cohabitating couples, they have more talents and more fun than cohabitating couples.
The bottom line here is DONT COHABITATE!!! If you are cohabitating do yourself a favor and leave. If your boyfriend/girlfriend wanted to be with you, you would have a ring on your finger and you would be a lot happier right now. So get out, prove yourself wrong with how strong you are, and start your life on the happy path. If you have trouble believing this post I invite you to have an open mind and try it. You are avoiding an 80% break up rate (and growing) if you take my advice.
2 comments:
I like your analysis of this phenomenon. Without commitment to something bigger than one's self there is no accountability. I think it should also be noted that on the rare occasion that the cohabitating couple stays together, they have created a pseudo marriage scenario. My brother and his girlfriend are an example of that. They have been living together for 12 years now but they act more like a married couple than a cohabitating couple. While she has become part of our family there is always that remaining thought that either one could leave at any moment.
Thank you so much for your comment and for the new insight. I haven't ever thought of a long term cohabitating relationship like that before but I like the term "pseudo marriage" because that is exactly what it is!
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